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Serving hot drinks will help avoid this pitfall. Compared with cold liquids, it is endlessly more difficult to guzzle enough hot liquid to get adequately sauced. How often, when feeling parched, do you pour yourself a hot one?

The effects of liquor are also felt much more quickly when ingested hot. While at first this may seem undesirable, it will allow you and your guests to take note of your mental faculties before tipsy turns into tanked.

Really, alcohol should only be consumed warm. Why drink wine if it’s not mulled? Why drink a toddy if it isn’t hot? Why drink rum if it isn’t both hot and buttered? Why, indeed.

HOT SHERRIED CONSOMMÉ

in Better Homes and Gardens® Cooking for Two, 1968

“Hot Sherried Consommé is an easy but elegant appetizer. Pour consommé over silver spoon to prevent cracking of crystal glass.”

• 10 1/2 ounces condensed beef consommé (1 can)*
• 2/3 cup water
• 3 tablespoons dry sherry

*Campbell’s may be the only company to still produce canned beef consommé. Hats off to you, Campbell’s. If ready-made consommé is not available, substitute a mix of beef and chicken stock, and reduce slightly, or thicken with a bit of gelatin.

Directions

In saucepan, combine one 10 1/2-ounce can condensed consommé, 2/3 cup water, and 3 tablespoons dry sherry; heat. Serves 2.

Ideal Occasion

A dinner party for new neighbors; this will provide a warm welcome to the neighborhood, while discreetly screening for any rowdy proclivities your new blockmates may have.

Suggested Pairing

Crackers and cheese; HSC should be served as an appetizer. Since it is basically soup disguised as a drink, the crackers will be an excellent companion.

Overall Fancy Factor

6.0*/10.

*Add 1.0 silver spoons if served in crystal glass with silver spoon.

Flat, sandwich-style meats, however, have long been considered to lack the elegance that, say, a rack of lamb can boast. That said, one foolproof way to pull two-dimensional meat out of the gutter is simply by rolling it–either by itself, or around another food (such as a vegetable or, better still, more meat!).

This is due to the simple fact that rolling things tends to make them fancier. This applies to nearly everything–napkins, shirt sleeves, dollar bills, you name it.

Here is a recipe to better illustrate this rule…

HAM-BROCCOLI ROLLS

in Better Homes and Gardens® Cooking for Two, 1968.

• 2 rectangular slices boiled ham, cut 1/4 inch thick
• 2 slices process Swiss cheese*
• 1 10-ounce package of frozen broccoli spears, cooked and drained**
• 1 1/2 teaspoons butter or margarine
• 1 1/2 teaspoons all-purpose flour
• 1/8 teaspoon salt
• 1 1/2 teaspoons prepared horseradish
• 1 teaspoon prepared mustard
• 1/4 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1/4 teaspoon grated onion
• 1 slightly beaten egg yolk
• 1/2 cup pineapple juice
• 1/4 cup milk

*We used 4 thin slices of Swiss cheese on each instead of the recommended single slice.

**We opted for fresh broccoli instead of frozen.

Directions

1. Top each ham slice with slice of cheese. Place half the cooked broccoli on each.

2. In heavy saucepan melt butter. Blend in flour, salt, horseradish, mustard, Worcestershire sauce, and onion. Combine egg yolk and pineapple juice; blend into butter mixture. Stir in milk. Cook over low heat, stirring constantly, till thick and bubbling (this will take roughly 10 minutes).

3. Spoon about 1 tablespoon sauce over broccoli. Roll ham and cheese around broccoli.

4. Secure with wooden picks. Place rolls in shallow baking dish. Cover; bake in moderate oven (350 degrees) about 25 minutes.

5. Reheat remaining sauce, adding milk if necessary (this will be necessary). Spoon hot mustard sauce over ham rolls. Makes 2 servings.

Ideal Occasion

A Black Thursday Theme Luncheon; let’s face it–as effective as rolling is, it’s difficult to turn a pig into a prince. This will show your guests that even though your stocks are taking the plunge, your taste isn’t.

Suggested Pairing

Pineapple juice, on the rocks; this will complement the ham nicely. Not to mention, you will likely have a quart of it left.

Overall Fancy Factor

5.5/10.